Dr. Siggie's Advice On Talking To Young Children About Race
The death of George Floyd and the subsequent protests have made it clear that there is still a lot of work to be done for racial justice in America. As parents of young children, many of us are wondering how to talk to our families about diversity and racism.
Dr. Siggie Cohen, PhD and parenting expert, explains that, before having any conversations with our children, we should first do some self-reflection.
“Think to yourself how you behave, what are your thoughts about race.. conscious and subconscious? How do you speak to people from other races? How do you speak about them when you’re at home and your guard is down? How do you feel around them? Does your body language change? Does your voice change? Your mannerisms? Tone? When you hear a foreign language, what’s your reaction? When you smell a foreign food, what does that make you feel?”
Be aware that doing the internal work necessary to confront your own personal biases will be far more impactful than any one conversation you could have with your children. But, that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t talk to them now. Even very young children can and should be introduced to the concepts of diversity and racism. Creating a home environment where your children feel safe to ask questions and discuss difficult topics will improve their critical thinking skills and help them become strong allies in the fight for racial justice.
Dr. Siggie outlined some important guidelines for discussing racism and diversity with young children:
Conversations should start early and be ongoing.
If you haven’t started already, it’s Ok, you can start now.
Be proactive about starting the discussion.
Incorporate the conversations into your everyday life.
Create an environment that lets your child feel safe to be curious and ask questions.
Dr. Siggie suggests some specific ways to bring up the topic of racial differences:
During a calm moment, bring up differences that are already in your family, while modeling tolerance and understanding. For example: “Did you notice that I have blue eyes and Daddy has brown eyes?”
The differences don’t only have to be about appearances: For example: “Your sister really likes to play soccer and you don’t really like to… what do you think about that?”
Children are curious by nature, incorporate lots of facts into your talks. For example: “People come in all different colors. See, your skin is darker than mine. Do you know why? We all have this thing called melanin in our skin… it gives you and me our color. And you have more of it than I do. Yes, Daddy has more too. What do you think about that?”
Food is a great way to introduce ideas of other cultures and inclusivity into your home. For example: “You know I went to Mexico once. Yes, this food we’re eating is called Mexican food and it’s from a place called Mexico. That’s right, I took a plane to get there… (encourage imagination). Yes, they have people there and mountains and volcanoes and beaches… and they speak another language called Spanish. Sure, I can show it to you on a map.”
The idea is to start creating awareness that every person is different, but these differences just are…. They’re not good or bad.
Another way to include other cultures into your family’s conversations and lifestyle is through music, movies, museums, and books.
Dr. Siggie recommends the following resources to help build your family’s library in a way that celebrates diversity and racial justice.
Dr. Siggie has also created her own list of books to inspire conversations about diversity.
Reading diverse books, self-reflection, and having ongoing conversations with our children are all excellent ways to help raise kids who are well-informed and strong allies for racial equality.